Do you have challenges disciplining your little one, I know I do. I don’t want to be to strict, or to lenient. I want to foster Little Pumpkin Doodle’s self-esteem. But how do I do all that, without being mean mommy? Lucky for me, I have author and educator, Lisa Kinka on speed dial.
Today, Lisa will share with us organic parenting tips and answer the question, can you organically discipline your child?
At times it seems as if the “Terrible Twos” are truly terrible for some parents as well as the two-year old. It’s important to remember this is a time when your child is beginning to establish their independence. Many children will throw a fit if they do not get their way. When a child has a tantrum, it is important to let him/her know that you understand they are angry about not being able to do a certain activity, or engaging in something that is unsafe, like climbing a bookcase. Let them have their fit and just supervise to make sure they are safe. Let them know you are available when they are ready to talk with you like a grown-up person because grown-ups talk together about their problems. It is important that they know you love them and want them to be safe.
Sometimes after they have calmed down, you will be able to tell them why you are preventing them from doing something that may harm them, instead of, “because I’m your Mommy.” Other times they may continue to have their fit. That’s okay too. It just means that they aren’t ready to talk about it. You can still tell them the reason why you want them to be safe and why you prevented them from the dangerous activity.
Then in some other circumstances, you may need to stop the behavior immediately before he/she gets hurt. A helpful phrase may be, “Mommy is going to stop you from climbing up the bookcase because she doesn’t want you to get hurt,” as you calmly and gently remove them from the dangerous situation. Sometimes it’s a fight, but you can put them down and let them have their tantrum.
There are times you may encounter problems between playmates. If two children want the same toy, for example, you can intervene by saying, “I see that you both want to play with that doll,” while you gently put your hands on theirs while also holding the toy. “Do you have any ideas on how you both may be able to play with the doll?”
This is a time when you can introduce problem solving skills. Say, “I have an idea.”
You could take turns playing with the doll.” Offer a few solutions for them to try.
“Amy can play with it for 5 minutes and Becky can play with it for 5 minutes. After each of you has 5 minutes, we can think of other ideas.” Or, “another idea is for you to share the doll.” Even that can be difficult. The important idea is that you are introducing ways for them to make decisions. This is what the toddler is trying to do anyway.
This also works at bed time and nap time. Many children will have their fits at this time. It’s mostly because they are tired. Here the problem solving phrases,“I know you really want to stay up and read that book. How about if we read it together, and when we finish, it’s time for bed?” Then ask if they have any ideas for trying to get ready for bed because sleep is good and helps us grow into adults like Mommies and Daddies. I do believe that there is a way to discipline your child organically.
Thanks for having me. I will share tips that I learned while working at The Child Development Center at California State Long Beach, and educational practices I used while teaching Kindergarten, first and second grades.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me (Lisa Kinka) through Mommy’s Organics.
Do you have any organic parenting tips? Feel free to share!
Thank you Lisa for such great information. I’m looking forward to reading your upcoming posts and children’s books.